"For us..every morning is Monday morning."

Asian husband told one of our childless friends today. I say "childless", because it's a fact that is very important to understanding this post I'm about to write.

So yesterday, we (asian husband, asian baby and I) went out to eat with our friends. Most of whom are childless. The dinner was planned by one of asian husband's best friends, DJ Dave (yes, I call him that..DJ Dave) Now, DJ Dave is like George Clooney. Bachelor for life kind of guy. SOOO..it didn't surprise us that he picked one of those uber trendy, ultra cramped, super loud, not toddler friendly, wait 1.5 hrs just to get a table for 2, peel your own crawfish/shrimp joints. PLUS we had 11 people. Oh and it was more than a 30 minutes drive from our house.

joy.

Now, blame it on the lack of sleep or our desperate need for social contact with the outside world, but asian husband and I didn't quite think it through and decided to go. If I had been of sound mind and body I would have said to myself.."self...do you think you can really take a toddler who REFUSES to sit in a high chair, to a restaurant with no booths, loud music, an extremely long wait time, and bags of steaming hot seafood that you have to peel. yourself. I think not." However, DJ Dave said that he would get there EARLY and put his name down for a table so that when the "parents" got there, there would be minimal wait.

but of course we were the first ones to arrive. OF THE 11 people who were suppose to be there.

As little asian baby would say "AWSHOME!"

So as we waited on all of our other childless friends who don't have to stick to a rigid schedule and can show up anytime between dinner time and bedtime...asian husband and I made a contingency plan. We decided that we would wait until DJ Dave came, say our hellos to the people we hadn't seen since our pre baby days and go eat somewhere else. It was already almost 6:30 and we had to be home by 8:00 for little asian baby's bath time/bedtime. (and with a toddler in tow, 1.5 hrs is BARELY enough time to find a restaurant, eat, and drive home) So that's just what we did. We waited a good 20 minutes or so for majority of the group to show up (and in toddler time that's like an hr already) we said our hellos and then our good byes and started to look for another place to eat.

That's when our other bachelor for life childless friend Uncle Joe said "But it's Saturday night can't you let the baby sleep later and just wait to eat with us?"

"Every night is Saturday night for her" I said.

"And every morning is Monday morning for us" asian husband said.

So true asian husband. So true.

Needless to say by the time we found a new place to eat, ate, paid the bill, and left the restaurant our friends had JUST gotten seated at the uber trendy, loud, wait an hr to be seated, peel your own steaming bags of seafood place.

Next time we'll just stay home.

-little asian baby

WARDROBE! WE NEED WARDROBE HERE PEOPLE!

This past week, little asian baby, Auntie S and I went to our local outdoor mall. It was a BLISTERING 91 degrees outside, and after some light shopping and some free scoops of ice cream (courtesy of the employee at Coldstone who gave my sister free ice cream, because my sister is a baller and ONLY had a 100 dolla bill and I guess Coldstone doesn't take bills larger than 20, so the employee said just to take the scoops that she had already scooped, because if my sister didn't take them she would just have to throw them out...phew..that was a really long run on sentence!) Anyway, after buying little asian baby some new spring/summer clothes and eating ice cream. Little asian baby played with this "water fountain" thing at the nearby playground. We hadn't planned on her getting wet this particular day, and if it wasn't for the new clothes I had just bought her, little asian baby would have had to ride home either cold/wet or naked with just her diaper. (Oh NO, i just used some porno words) So here are some photos of her playing with the fountain and her wardrobe change.

This is what she was wearing BEFORE the water adventure. (She was also wearing gray high top converse sneakers, which also got wet because of the fountain. Luckily I had just bought a new pair of shoes for her as well, as you will see in the pictures below.)

I know I know...CUTEST BABY EVER!!

"HI AUNTIEE!! LOOK AT ME!"

The water "fountain" and little asian baby trying to "pick up" the water...

The water trickles down over the edges of this thing, and even though you can't tell by the picture, little asian baby's shirt is soaked through from basically leaning up against the water.

And after a fun filled afternoon of watery fun, little asian baby left the playground looking like this:

I know, I know, STILL THE CUTEST BABY EVER!

-little asian girl

"BrUsHh...bRuSshh...BrUsh.."

"Here Kitty, let me brush your hair too.."

-little asian girl

Occasionally I find.....

my utensil drawer like this.

whhhaaatt tthhe....right?

Well, I would like to tell you that I got so lazy one day that I just threw the utensils into the drawer with literally no rhyme or reason, but actually little asian baby did it. It's her attempt to help me around the kitchen. It's actually quite cute. And I was pleasantly surprised that she had been paying attention to me unloading the dishwasher every single morning and actually decided to help me one day. And I suppose when she becomes tall enough to actually see where she's putting the forks, spoons and spatulas she'll get them into the right compartments, but until then I'm just glad that she's taking to domestic duties. Plus finding drawers like this around the house is one of the perks of being a parent to a toddler. It's just fun.

Now only if she'd learn the fold the laundry instead of playing with the piles that I JUST folded.....

-little asian girl

"oh..that's nice."

Is what I said 20 minutes ago at 2:30AM. (yeah that's right I said 2:30AM!!) Ironically or maybe sadly is the more accurate term, it's not the first time I've said "oh..that's nice." at 2:30AM...

I've said it sarcastically before at 2:30AM because I'm annoyed that my biological clock is as all jacked upped due to night nursing and I wake up at random times at night even if little asian baby isn't awake. I've also said it while being SUPREMELY annoyed at 2:30AM, that little asian baby has kicked me (YET AGAIN) during HER peaceful slumber. (Notice I said HER peaceful slumber, because there's actually NOTHING peaceful about co-sleeping with a toddler. They don't even let you cuddle with them while they're sleeping so it's a double boo!) but the reason as to WHY I said it this time might be the first. I can tell you're super curious now as to why I said "oh..that's nice." at 2:30AM and the longer I wait to tell you as to why I said "oh..that's nice." at 2:30AM is just making you go crazy with curiosity. So maybe I'll just type some more nonsense..bLAh BLaH..bLAH BLAH biDDy bLaH BlOOp blah~....

ok ok..so the reason why I said "oh..that's nice." at 2:30AM (yeah yeah, I know it's getting old~) is because I got my "monthly cycle"! HURRAY, and I am actually genuinely happy that I got it. Since asian husband and I are not planning to have another child until our current child can speak in complete sentences I am genuinely not bothered by the fact that I got my period. YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID PERIOD!

period.

Anyway, I was kind of getting nervous, because I had gotten my period in the month of January but not in the month of February and was considering taking a pregnancy test...but fortunately my body has saved me the agony/stress of taking the test and the whirlwind of questions that chaotically swirl through your mind as you wait for the stick to reveal one line or two...oh and 11 dollars since that's how much a box of tests costs..so...

I'M GOOD!

And although I know that when nursing mothers start getting their cycle back it can be inconsistent... I realized that I was just trying to convince myself of that fact, and was hoping (more so than I thought) that I would get my cycle soon. So here I am at what is now 3:30AM, squandering my precious sleeping minutes away to blog about the AM event that surprised and affected me enough that I felt the need to blog about it IMMEDIATELY.

Of course I know that, I'm not the only woman in the world who is happy when her cycle returns, although I might be the only woman who feels the need to blog about it. Idiotic teens who "forget" to use birth control/condoms and drunk club girls with questionable decision making skills can probably relate..but I thought it would give you something to read and maybe you'd get a chuckle or two out of it.

The only downside to the cycle returning, is now I have to tell my grandmother (yet again) that I'm still not pregnant and hear what she has to say. yay.

** side note  **
When I told my grandmother that I hadn't gotten my period last month, this is what she said "PLEASE DON'T GET IT! PLEASE DON'T GET IT!" and even as I write this I wonder why I even tell my grandmother these things. OH RIGHT IT'S BECAUSE SHE'S WEIRD AND NOSY AND ALWAYS ASKS! I gotta stop visiting her.....

-little asian girl

"OOOOOHHHH CCCRRRAAAAAAPPPP!!"

Is what I said (loudly) to myself as I watched the plate of angel food cake go FLYING off of my car in the rear view mirror with a CRASH so loud I heard it while I was driving away.....

*reWind*

SOOO a few weeks ago, my aunt from New Jersey came to visit. She had just retired from YEARS as a postal worker and came to Cali to visit her sisters and parents. It was her last day in Cali (yes I am going to refer to California as "Cali" for the entire duration of this post. DEAL WITH IT!) and she wanted to see little asian baby, so I hauled my ass booty down to orange county to see her before she had to leave for the airport. Now, I love my Aunt Patty a lot. She's super funny and fun to be around. She's always cracking jokes and making us laugh, so I was happy to see her. The night before I was to go to my grandmother's (where my aunt patty was staying while she was in Cali) I decided to bake an angel food cake. Since I was going there during breakfast hours, and didn't want to only eat veggies and dip (the only thing my grandmother serves for breakfast) so I baked. In the morning, I cut asian hubby a slice of cake and since now the angel food cake (obviously) had a piece missing I thought I would just cut up the rest of it into slices as to hide the evidence that someone else had already helped himself to some.. I was in a semi-rush, as all mother's of toddlers who are trying to get out of the house always are, so I guess my mind was a little scattered. (YES YES MORE SO THAN MY USUAL COO COO CA CHOO STATE OF MIND!) So after wrestling with asian baby for 20 minutes I finally got her diaper changed and dressed for the day and I took my plate of cake as well as my other baggage (figuratively and literally) and got down to the car. Now since I am no Houdini or even David Blaine, I couldn't levitate the plate, the bag and the baby so I just placed the plate on top of the car while I put little asian baby in the car seat. Then I promptly hopped into the car and went on my way.

While I was stopped a light right in front of our place, I remember a guy honking at me when the light turned green. At the time I thought that the person was just being a dope head (yeah I said dope head) and being SUPER rude/impatient about the light that had JUST turned green, but now I realize, they were just being a good samaritan and trying to warn the crazy little asian girl that there was a plate of cake on her car.

So that is how I came to watch one of my dinner plates fly off my car along with my expectations for a breakfast that didn't include radishes and thousand island dressing.

-little asian girl

"sWeet! COOkiEs!!" 

" hmm..I wonder what kind they are? Hopefully chocolate chip..."

"ahh well..a cookie is a cookie.."

"cRuNch..cRUnCh...mUNch..."

"...oatmeal pecan.....NOT what I was expecting...."

-little asian girl

"Uh oH"

A few weeks ago, I started a new job at a local church. Yes, yes I said CHURCH! Anyway, since I work at a church my "work day" is basically Sunday. So every Sunday morning I have to leave little asian baby with asian husband while little asian momma goes off the work. It's been kind of a rocky road, since little asian baby had never spent more than an hour or so with asian husband by herself without me, but ever since she turned 17 or so months she has warmed up to daddy quite considerably. (Much to my relief!) 

Now, none of this information that I have just given you has anything to do with the story I'm about to tell, but I just thought it would be nice for you to know! 

So here is what I was going to write about all along. This past Sunday I decided to get up early, well..extra early since we all get up around 7am thanks to little asian baby....... but I decided to get up EXTRA early (6am) so's that I could take a shower, finish assembling Valentine's day cookies for the church people, and still have enough time to get hair and makeup done and be out of the house by NO LATER than 8am. When I awoke from the already precious little sleep I get anyways (thanks again to little asian baby.....) she was still asleep. Now usually, little asian baby sleeps from about 4am to 7am without stirring. How do I know this you ask? Because I'm her mom is the answer. 

However...

As all moms know, the day that you decided to change up any part of the daily routine, even if you just think silently in your mind that this might be something you will do, the little stinkers sense it and they change up their routine too so as to ruin the change you wanted to make. 

Make sense?

So what I mean is, reasonable doubt may get you a free pass in a court of law, but if you have any sort of doubt in your mind that your baby who has been sleeping from 4am-7am for the past 5 months will now all of a sudden wake up at 6am because you decided to be productive and get an early start to the day.....all will be ruined. 

As was the case this past Sunday. As I slowly slipped out of bed to take my shower, I had a feeling in my gut that as soon as I turned the water on and stepped in the shower little asian baby would wake up. I of course took my shower in the second bathroom which is on the other side of the house, but didn't matter. I think little asian baby "sensed" that I was no longer lying next to her. So as I quickly lathered, rinsed and did not repeat, I kept hearing what I thought were "phantom" cries from little asian baby. (that's a real thing by the way, ask any mother. You hear your baby crying all the time, in the shower, while you're sleeping, while your baby is at grandma's and you're out alone......) Then I heard a "thump" which I hoped was just the upstairs neighbor dropping his morning cereal box... (in actuality it was asian husband flinging the door of his bedroom open to run to little asian baby's aid, because momma still hasn't learned that she no longer can control anything...) I quickly rinsed the last of the soap suds off of my body and hoped that when I opened the bathroom door the only sounds in the house would be of asian husband's snoring, but ALAS!!! Cries from little asian baby could be heard from miles away! So what did I do?

I dried myself off in a nano second, wrapped my wet hair turban style, and ran across the living room (sans clothing) to assess the damage. There was asian husband, blurry eyed and still a little dazed trying to comfort little asian baby who was rolling around the bed crying hysterically. I rushed to baby's side and quickly gave her the boob. It calmed her down instantly, but the damage had already been done. There was no going back, to sleep that is. Little asian baby was up, an hour earlier than normal, and I could feel in my bones that this was NOT a good start to the day. 

Little asian baby must have felt the same way, because after she finished nursing, she looked straight up at me and said...

"uh oh."

Yup. My sentiments exactly.

Then she said it again, "Uh OH!" I think to really drive the point home.

Needless to say, she was cranky the rest of the day and asian husband told me that while I was gone baby had a MAJOR meltdown and cried hysterically and wasn't consolable. 

Lesson learned little asian baby. Lesson learned.

-little asian girl out!