Thursday, November 17, 2011

DON'T take a bite of a pregnant lady's food~

Yesterday I was watching an episode of Friends, and Joey breaks up with a girl because she took some fries off his plate. And as they were playing the scene in slow motion (the reach....the grab....the fries traveling into the girl's mouth as Joey looked in horror and panic from across the table....) I thought to myself, yep, i get that. 

NEW RULE! NEW RULE! 

Don't take a bite of a pregnant lady's food, especially if that pregnant lady is your wife! 

So this actually did happen to me a few weeks ago. Hubby and I were driving home from work on a Friday and when we saw it. THE SIGN.   

 MCDONALDS! FILET O'FISH FRIDAYS 1.29!

WHOOOO HOOO!!! I LOVE FILET O' FISH!!!! I mean say what people want about fast food and mcdonalds and blah bLah bLah balhlsadhfklsahfksdajf;k DELICIOUS!

So we quickly made our way to the drive through line (MOVE OUTTA THE WAY PEOPLE PREGNANT LADY WANTS FILET O FISH!) And I ordered 1 (instead of the 3 that I really wanted, it was after all, pre-dinner time) and was excitedly, gleefully, impatiently awaiting the beautiful white and red bag that would hold my treat. Asian husband got a double cheeseburger. A fine choice, but definitely not a FILET O FISH! Anways, so we got our food and as I attacked....i mean opened the bag. I took a bite of the glorious, fluffy fake bread and fish "by-product" sandwich. DELICIOUS. As I was enjoying my snack, I felt a little bad for chris who had only gotten a cheeseburger, so i offered him a bite of my sandwich. 

Now call me naive, or tell me that I shoulda known better (cuz I probably should have), but I didn't really think that he would take a bite~ I am after all pregnant with the seed of his loins, so shouldn't he want me to take in every bit of life giving food and seize every opportunity for nourishment?? BUT HE TOOK A BIG OLE HONKING BITE OUT OF MY itty bitty SANDWICH! HE REALLY ATE LIKE A QUARTER OF IT! my eyes bulged at the gargantuan bite and there was no hiding my shock and horror! (but he was driving and enjoying MY sandwich, so he didn't notice the eyes) I mean it took everything in me not to gasp and grab the bite out of his mouth. So as I watched the delicious morsel be forever lost and consumed, by the person I know considered an enemy, i thought.......

NEW RULE! NEW RULE! DON'T TAKE A BITE OF PREGNANT LADY'S FOOD. 

luckily, he later redeemed himself by giving me two scoops of ice cream for dessert after dinner.

good boy.

-little asian girl

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

how come your boobs haven't grown bigger?

*siGh* 


family. 


*siGh* 


unless they've done committed some major atrocities upon you and your life, you have to love them......right? 

It is no secret that my family, while as well meaning as they THINK they are, can be, well.....annoying. 

On Sunday I was at my mother's house, and she was commenting on how great my skin looks. (I guess that "pregnancy glow" is kicking in, but I think it's just the extra FAT on my face) but whatever, i'll take any help I can get now-a-days. With the little one sucking the life and nutrients out of me, I'll take any compliment about my looks, even the backhanded ones~

So my mother is saying, how wonderful my skin looks and that my hair is so glossy and long now, and so I say to her..JOKINGLY...."oh man, I must have looked really bad during the first 3 few months" AND MY MOTHER LOOKS ME DEAD ON AND SAYS 

" yes. jamie. you rooked (rooked, because my mom is korean lady, don't speak english good) really bad." and if that's not enough she's like " you're skin was all blotchy and uneven, and rough looking and you looked like you were sick or tired or both all the time..." blah blah BlaH bLAH BLAH! 

THANKS MOM!

Then I went to my grandmother's house, (don't worry everyone I changed into my flat shoes, cuz GOSH FORBID i wear heels! THE BABY'S GONNA FALL!) and as I was consuming a massive amount of mangoes my grandmother says to me "how come your boobs aren't growing?" 

Now I don't know what it is about my grandmother and boobs. Before I got married she commented on how little my boobs were and how my husband might not like that, but what was I gonna do and to be happy with what I have. 

but what could I say to my "well meaning" grandmother, I just told her that these were my bigger boobs....and she ...well..she just chuckled to herself. 

family.

 damned if you have them damned if you don't. (well maybe not so damned if you don't)

Sunday, November 13, 2011

dOn't liFt tHat! bAby's gONna falL!


so we all know that there is a fair amount of crazy in this world, but nothing prepared me for the amount of crazy that comes out of people when they find out you are pregnant. 

Now if you haven't figured out by now, my family in particular are a "special" bunch. From wedding plans to housewarming preparations, my family had their fair share of opinions. And now that I'm pregnant it seems that they have saved their biggest arsenal of material for these moments. 

Here are some of the "beliefs" my family members have about pregnancy:


1. If you lift anything heavy the baby's going to fall.

This one annoys me a lot, because every time I lift so much as a grocery bag people FREAK out. "THE BABY'S GOING TO FALL! THE BABY'S GOING TO FALL!" is what comes screaming out of their mouths. and I'm like really? fall from where? do you mean fall out of my vagina? In the event that the baby really does fall from my belly button to my vagina, i'm sure there is enough cushioning in there to protect it and stuff to keep it in. Don't worry people I'm sure that there have been no cases where due to lifting a 5 lb bag of potatoes, the baby shot out like a canon and went hurdling down the super market aisle like a loose watermelon. (Now I know that pregnant women aren't suppose to lift anything extreme, because of whatever medical mumbo jumbo reason, but please people. I'm just pregnant, not dying.)


2. Craving fruits and vegetables means you're having a girl. Craving meat means you're having a boy. 

This is the 20th century. Men no longer walk around grunting while clubbing meat products over the head and women's diets are not solely comprised of strawberries and lettuce. Everyone told me for the first 4 months that I was having a girl cuz I just wanted to eat fruits and veggies. (which annoyed me immensely as well, because what if I wanted a boy?!)  And although I am expected to have a girl, I can't say that I think this one is really true. The first month of my pregnancy I wanted nothing but korean bbq and carne asada burritos and now I'll eat any fruit/ vegetable I can. So unless my baby is a hermaphrodite or there's a little boy hiding in there somewhere, I think there's no truth to this one either. 


3. No morning sickness means you're having a boy.

Wrong again people. I had no morning sickness, but am having a girl.


4. (this is a sad one) No wearing high heels. *gAsP! diE~* 

This is one that I have been reluctant to give up. (of course) Although I will say that now after a day in heels my legs from my ankles all the way up to my thighs are burning, I REFUSE to put my 4in. heel gold glittered platform stilettos away! I just have to make sure to stash a pair of flats in my car just in case I'm going to see anyone in my family so that I don't hear about how i'm going to have a fall so severe that the 9.0 earthquake in japan will seem like a shiver. (oh and of course the baby's going to falL!) And one day i was wearing heels (WEDGES NOT EVEN STILETTOS) and as I was walking up the steps to my grandmother's house, she flung open the door and asked why my feet where making clickity-clackity sounds and told me to bid "sianara" to those shoes. *oOps* In the back of my mind I know there will come a day when I could just topple over, but we'll deal with that when it happens.

There have been a bevy of other "beliefs" that not only my family members have told me, but these seem to be the most common. It seems that EVERYONE men & women alike what to give you their two cents. And I know that being pregnant makes women more "edgy", but I don't really want to hear your opinion on a normal non-pregnant day, so definitely don't tell it to me now either. 

Unless...

 it's something useful like "don't forget to pack snacks when you go to the hospital, because you'll be hungry" and not something like " make sure you satisfy your cravings or your baby will come out with crooked eyes" (my grandma actually has told me that one A LOT)


*siGh*
 little asian girl out~