"Nothing bad ever happened to a man who listened to his wife!"

I thought I would start my first post of 2014 with wise words from my dear beloved grandmother.

So I haven't written about my lovely, witty, and no filter grandma in a long while. She's still the same fiery spirit she always has been and she still CONSTANTLY asks me about little asian baby #2 (not happening g-ma!) and is APPALLED....APPALLED I TELL YOU that I'm still breastfeeding!

But I love her dearly and since my grandfather passed recently, I do worry about her more than I used too.

HOWEVER.....

She does still have a lot of years left in her and she recently gave me a jewel of wisdom that reminded me once again how wonderful (and helpful) she really is to me!

I was chatting with her on the phone the other day and telling her that asian husband caught a cold and before I could say anything else she said:

"It's because he goes out wearing nothing! Tell him to put some more clothes on!"

Now asian husband is not a stripper nor does he have a fabric allergy of any kind. He just always is "hot" and usually just wears a t-shirt and jeans unless it's 32 degrees outside....then he'll throw a dress shirt over the t-shirt. woo-hoo.

So I said to my grandma:

" Grandma! I always tell him to wear more clothes, but he doesn't listen!"

And that's when she dropped this little gem.

"Nothing bad ever happened to a man who listened to his wife! Tell him that!"

PREACH IT GRANDMA!! LOVE YOU!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

-little asian girl

"MMMOOOOOMMM I HAVVEEE TOOO POOOTTTY!!!!!!"

The 5 sweet words that every mother of a toddler wants to hear.

Forget about Christmas and birthdays, the day your 2 yr old tells you BEFORE (that's important: BEFORE) they pee/poop (yes I said poop!) in their pants, on the floor, on the couch..... is the BEST day of a mother's life!!

I've been trying to potty train little asian baby since she turned 2 four months ago. I tried every method from lollipops to time-outs with no success. I've done countless hours of research, reading, and basically asked every person who already has a potty trained child about tips and tricks.

BUUUUTTTTT.....what I've come to realize is this:

" THEY'LL DO IT ON THEIR OWN WHEN THEY'RE READY!!!!!! "

Now, I know the above phrase is not true about EVERY parenting experience, but it is true about the potty training experience.

As I mentioned I've been trying to potty train little asian baby for about 4 months now. Sure, I haven't always been "on top" of the whole situation, but who & what mother of a crazy toddler has the mental capacity to take their child to the "potty" every hour just in case they have to go? Plus, I'm not a mind reader, how was I suppose to know that after sitting for 5 minutes on the potty with it "not working" (that's what asian baby says when she doesn't have to go. "It's not working mom") you would then proceed to potty on the floor the minute you hit the living room? So basically I became a quitter and gave up. However, I realized that little asian baby probably shouldn't wear diapers for all of her childhood.. PLUS another mother at my church whose son is not yet 2 yrs. already potty trained him, so to save face & not fall behind in the "mom race" I gave it another go.

This time, however, I was better prepared. Plus I had a secret weapon.
Panties.
More specially though, Dora panties.

One of the moms I consulted told me that when I'm ready to potty train little asian baby, to buy her cute panties she could wear. She told me to pick panties with a character or picture that little asian baby would like and make a big deal like "LOOOOOOK!!! YOU HAVE BIG GIRL PANTIES NOW!!! ISN'T IT SOO CUTE!!!! DON'T YOU WANT TO WEAR THEM LIKE MOM!!! AND NO MORE DIAPER!!!! YOU'RE A BIG GIRL NOW RIGHT????!!!!!!" (and yes, yes, imagine me saying all this with an overly enthusiastic, drawling, kind of annoying, child enticing tone)  so I did that. I asked little asian baby what kind of panties she would like to wear and she said "Dora panties mom". So off to the big red bullet store we went and bought "dora panties"

Now I don't know if it was the dora panties or the fact that really little asian baby was just ready. BUT IT WORKED!!!! SUCCESS!!! FANFARE AND TICKER TAPE PARADE PLEASE!!! So now at home anyways, because I'm not yet ready to venture out into the world with a diaper-less toddler I can PROUDLY say that little asian baby is potty trained. Although we did have 3 small accidents (pee only! not poop...well one poop.....) little asian baby has only pottied in the potty for about 2 weeks now.

So I'm glad and thankful that we've begun to make some progress on the potty training front. The road was definitely frustrating, messy and I did give up a few times, but what I am constantly reminded of with every adventurous parenting experience is that all kids will eventually "get there" when they're ready.

Oh, and you need A LOT of Clorox Greenworks cleaner, Lysol & paper towels handy too.

-little asian girl

" AAhhh....that's just 1st world problems."

I have a dear, dear friend of mine who is also a "little asian girl". Every once in a while you meet someone that you just "get" you know what I mean? My friend and I have a deep and dear understanding of who the other person is and I feel like other than my mother & asian husband, this friend is the only other person who really "gets" me.

And recently she helped me gain A LOT of perspective on my life and how really truly fortunate I am. It helped me get through a grumpy patch in the road and it's times like that when I truly value and appreciate her friendship.

Maybe because I live in Southern California or maybe because I live in a city with running water and waste management, but sometimes I start to feel like I'm not "keeping up with the Jones" as well as I should. I look around at my friends in their upstairs/downstairs houses and watch them buy gazillion dollar purses and think..."WHY ISN'T MY LIFE LIKE THAT???!!!"

Now. I want to be ABSOLUTELY CLEAR here. I am NOT saying that asian husband isn't a good provider by any means at all. He definitely isn't sitting on the couch, drinking a 40 while waiting for his unemployment check to come... and it's not like I'm standing on the street corner while people drive by wondering what a little asian girl is doing there.....(anymore...)

PLUS we DO own our little abode and I am fortunate enough not to have to actually go to a job everyday, because asian husband goes for us............

but I wanted to complain anyway.

So I called my friend up and started complaining.

This is basically what I said:
"OH MY LIFE IS SOO SAD! MY BANK ACCOUNT IS SAD! MY PURSE IS SAD! MY HOUSE IS SAD...LOOKING..."

This is what my friend said:
"Your life is not sad! You just have 1st world problems!"

This is what I said next:
"HUH?!"

Then she proceeded to explain. My friend is actually Cambodian. She grew up with two very hard working parents and still visits Cambodia, Thailand and other countries like that. She told me that when you visit countries like those, where plumbing is a luxury and markets are on dirt roads, fancy clothes, nice cars and houses with insulation are things that people over there can't even imagine let alone have as an everyday necessity. So she told me that complaining about "things" that I didn't have and not appreciating all that I do have is like complaining about "1st world" problems compared to how people live in 3rd world countries.

SOOOOO....I realized that I was being a spoiled, ungrateful little asian girl by complaining about everything that I didn't even need and she totally helped be turn my frown upside down! (as you can see I am also very proficient in rhyme)

Thanks friend!! Love you!

-little asian girl

If little asian baby becomes......

... a Michelin star chef one day I want it to be known and documented that her mother Little Asian Girl had the foresight and insight to recognize her talents at a young age! Let it also be known that because I am such an AWESOME mother, I cultivated and nurtured her talents starting from the tender age of 2!

see proof below.

whisking eggs

cuts outs of pie dough

making pancakes on Saturday morning

this one is even BEFORE she turned 2! 

Yeah she's not "cooking" but she's exploring a variety of ingredients!

-little asian girl

Toddlers are so amazing. Watching them grow and develop everyday is like magic and they are utterly, undeniably, roll on the floor laughing HIL-A-RI-OUS!

Here is a conversation I had with little asian baby while baking pies together.

 

(because I'm lazy and don't want to keep typing little asian girl & little asian baby for the duration of the entire post, I will be referring to myself as "lag" and asian baby as "lab")

(maybe I should have thought about the shorthand abbreviations a little more before I started blogging....)

(maybe I should stop writing so many things in parenthesis...)

(maybe I should just start getting on with the post.)

(maybe I should stop starting every sentence with "maybe I should..")

lag: " Baby, remember you have to wait for mom to tell you what to do and listen to me ok?"

lab: " Listen to mom??"

lag: "yes. listen to mom. and listen to papa too"

lab: " and then you listen to me??"

lag: "....." " nooo....you listen to mom & papa"

lab: "and then listen to baby??"

lag: " nnnnoooooo...you listen to us. momma & papa. not us listen to you."

lab: "then papa listen to me?"

lag: "nnnoooooooo. you listen to papa too!"

lab: " and then papa listen to me?"

lag: "...*siGh*...no."

This went on for a bit until I realized that the conversation probably would go on forever and the pies would never get done. Plus, at least she dropped the idea of me having to listen to her and realized that asian husband probably would be easier to mind control. (I wonder where she got THAT idea...?)

I'll just teach her the "listen to your parents all the time because we're always right and know everything" lesson later.

After I eat all the pies.

-little asian girl

(This photo has nothing to do with the post. It's just cute.)

(there I go with the parenthesis again, but at least I didn't start with "maybe I should...")

PROGRESS!

" open..close. open..close. open.."

Little asian baby said as she was sitting in her chair at breakfast yesterday. The only problem was she was saying it while "opening" & "closing" her knees.

Call it karma (see this post here ) or just normal toddler behavior, but as we sat eating chocolate rice krispies little asian baby started opening and closing her knees and saying "open..close. open..close"

I couldn't decide whether it was humorous or concerning, but before I could make a definite decision about whether to laugh or look for near by convents little asian baby said...

"close forever?"

"YES! Close forever!" I responded.

"phew" that was a close one.

-little asian girl~

"I didn't know that....."

...the only two clothing styles for women these days is slut or Parisian bachelorette. (and I also didn't know that "bachelorette" isn't a real word according to my spell check!)

Anyways.

Usually when I go to the mall I am ALWAYS on the hunt for decent clothes to wear. Maybe because I'm a mother now or maybe because I'm OFFICIALLY over 30, but I think that the Kardashian's and Miley Cyrus should stop dictating the fashion trends. Don't you?

So I am forever looking for just nice, well made, work/hang out clothes that have decent coverage, aren't missing any pieces of fabric (since apparently "cut outs" are the trend now....) that won't disintegrate in the wash after 2 cycles and that doesn't make me look like I just came from my kid's PTA meeting where we discussed who would be baking the "brownies" for the next school bake sale. But as I was walking by store after store, as well as my go to department store I realized that all the clothes were made for women who should be strolling down a quaint cobblestone alley in France or drinking for free at "ladies night"  in da club~! I mean some of the dresses were so tight and short that even the mannequin's were embarrassed and looking paler than usual from the oxygen deprivation. And who really wants to wear a burgundy dress with blue ducks printed all over it or a gray sweater with a giant mustache on the front...

Do I?

Do you?

Does anyone?

I NEED ANSWERS PLEASE PEOPLE!!

I wish I could trade places with little asian baby so that I can dress like this:

or this... (and no you're not having a seizure right now..it's just some new moving picture format asian husband discovered. NO need to call 9...1.1.11..1..11..1..1.1...)

or even just be like this:

and everyone would just think I was impossibly adorable and would take endless photos of me to post on their blogs! 

So now I am proposing a new proposition where all human beings regardless of age, gender or actual maturity age level can just dress like toddlers wherever they go. 

...wait...is that already happening? Is that why we have so many Miley's, Gaga's and Kanye's out in the world? 

*siGh* 

-little asian girl

" AAAAANNNNDDDD we're BACK!"

so ok.

I thought I hadn't posted in like over a year. Every once in a while between 2 minute showers and potty training attempts, I would stop and think "Hey...I wonder what happened to my blog? I feel so bad that I haven't posted in like AGES. I think it's been at least a year......oh crap...I forgot to run the dryer."

..................but turns out it's only been 5 months.

I was feeling guilty and stuffing my face with cherry cupcakes for no reason! (well..not for NO reason, the cupcakes are DELICIOUS MAN!"

anyways, so since my last few posts in April about still nursing (YES I AM STILL NURSING MY NOW 2 YR OLD! DEAL WITH IT AND MOVE ON!) and how angelic she looks in that white dress, things are like the twilight zone in that everything is pretty much the same yet completely different.

Little asian baby turned 2 a few weeks ago, can speak in sentences, and has discovered that she can do things like drink from a cup and use a fork all by "herselpbf" (that's how she pronounces "herself") Not saying that she can do things "herselpbf" without a 12 man cleaning crew to sweep up after her, but at least she's exerting (some) (minor) (attempts) at independence.

ok so the black text above was my attempt to return to blogging....FOUR MONTHS AGO! as you can see I started to write, but probably just gave up in exhaustion because little asian baby crawled into my lap and wanted to nurse as i was typing..........oh wait...that's still what's happening NOW!!!!

Ok, back to black text, my aging, little asian girl eyes can't distinguish between pink and white well anymore.....

So like I mentioned above, life is like the twilight zone, in that things remain relatively the same but is completely different at the same time. Little asian baby is a full fledged human being now (not that she was some sort of alien monster hybrid or anything..............) And when I ask her questions like "Do you want chocolate muffin or apple pie for breakfast?" she can respond appropriately AND correctly by saying she wants "hashbrown instead." *siGh*

So it's gotten a lot easier and a lot harder at the same time.

I've learned that although toddlers become SIGNIFICANTLY more independent after turning 2 and things are MUCH MUCH easier because little asian baby can actually talk now. It's also more challenging and annoying BECAUSE they are more independent and can talk now.

Especially since little asian baby narrates her life 24/7 and says bratty things like "Be quai-wat mom" (that means "be quiet mom" fyi.) But I guess as a parent all those annoying, exhausting, makes you want to stab yourself with the straw of your child's sippy cup...moments are all worth it (I was actually going to write "forgotten" but who am I kidding, I don't forget those annoying, exhausting, wannaa stab yourself times times..do you?) anyways, all those bad times are trumped a million times over by the moments when little asian baby wants to "squish" my face while giving me vice grip like hugs and puts my bra on her head and laughs hysterically.

SO hopefully I will have a little bit more time to blog now since I can say stuff like "BABY! MAMMA IS WORKING NOW SO YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME TO HELP YOU MAKE FRUIT SALAD IN YOUR KITCHEN!" and asian baby actually understands and says "ok mamma boo boo princess maam".

yes...she actually says "mamma boo boo princess maam"

-little asian girl (FINALLY) back
....although it took me more than 4 months to write this ONE post.