A trip down....the wine and beer aisle?

Yesterday, asian husband and I took a rare trip to the market. It was rare because 1. Asian husband and I rarely go to the market together and 2. we went in the evening. (ever since asian baby was born, we don't go out past 530pm. We're like senior citizens but without the arthritis and uncontrollable flatulence. Oh, and we don't qualify for senior discounts. boo.)

Anyway, so as we were in the market, I let little asian baby walk around instead of pushing her in the cart. She likes to peruse the aisles and point to things that she recognizes. However, yesterday she bypassed all the normal aisles (baby food aisle, cereal aisle, baking aisle...) and made a bee line for...well...the "spirits" aisle.

She just kept pacing up and down the aisle, looking at all the bottles. She stopped for a brief moment at the vodka section, at which point asian husband said " That's the cheap kind...at least get the good stuff if you want vodka~ How about Alize? It's next to the Hypnotik!" She also stopped in front of the cases of beer, but then I realized that she was actually interested in the pendant banner that was hung from the ceiling as decoration.

I hope.

I wonder if I should be concerned.....

Lately little asian baby has been taking beer cans out of the fridge to "play" with.

Maybe I should get her some real toys...

-little asian girl

"It looks like I'm choking her!"

BUT I assure you that I am NOT choking her. Not need to alert CPS. I'm just trying to measure how tall she is. Girl grows like a weed! Instead of gaining weight she just grows taller. 

I guess it also doesn't help that the picture is all black and white instead of colorful. And little asian baby's body language kind of looks like I'm doing something torturous to her..hands tense, mouth open.. So after telling asian husband that this picture looks a little suspect, he just said "Next time, put your hand lower, so it doesn't look so bad." 

duly noted. 

-little asian girl

The Adventures of Little Asian Girl.

The title of this post isn't a typo. I didn't finally lose my mind...although if I did, I guess I wouldn't know..

When I started this blog I wanted nothing less than to have a written record of all the weird, funny and kooky things that happen in my life. And although I can't be funny everyday what happened today reminded me of why I started this blog in the first place.

So it was an ordinary morning and I wanted to take a shower. Normally I would take one before asian husband leaves for work so that he can entertain little asian baby, but since I slept in a little today (GASP!) I couldn't take one while he was around. However, I had to venture out into public today so I decided I would do everyone a favor and take a shower. So I did what any mother in my position would do. I turned the TV to little asian baby's favorite channel, left the bathroom door AND the shower curtain mostly open and proceeded to take my 6 5 3 minute shower.

Unfortunately, things didn't go quite as planned....

A few seconds after I turned the shower on, little asian baby decided she would come and see what mommy was doing. Upon discovering me, she decided she wanted to try to "touch" the water that was streaming down from the shower head. I didn't mind much, because at least she wasn't crying or trying to get INTO the tub. She was getting a little damp, but a little water never hurt anything. So there I was furiously trying to shampoo my hair while making sure little asian baby wasn't getting into any real trouble when I got soap in my eye! Now the last time I got soap in my eye was probably sometime in elementary school, but even then I don't remember it hurting SO BAD! Man OH MAN! I don't know what kind of chemicals they put in shampoo now a days, but it makes me want to use little asian baby's soap from now on.

 So NOW there I am trying to furiously wash the soap out of my eye while keeping one eye (literally) on little asian baby whose hair has now gone from being misted with water to wet enough to be sticking to her forehead.

THEN she decided to bring me........the toilet paper.

Now you must know, toilet paper is designed to just disintegrate when it comes into contact with water. It doesn't absorb the water and hold it's shape like a paper towel nor does it just get limp like a napkin. It just shreds into little gross bits of wet pulp.

SO here we are now...little asian baby is pulling the toilet paper off of the roll and ripping it into pieces BEFORE she proceeds to throw it into the tub. She was also getting increasingly irritated, because the paper was sticking to her fingers and face it, no one, not even a baby wants to have pieces of wet toilet paper stuck to them. ew. gross.

So NOW the toilet paper is in little wet pulpy pieces all over the place, my eye is still stinging from the soap, little asian baby's sleeves have started to get wet, and by this time the crankiness has taken over and little asian baby is actually trying to get INTO the tub so I can hold her.

Oh, and I was naked and dripping wet. NOT my finest hour as a parent. So I did what any parent in my position would do. I half ass-ed my shower (managed to shampoo & condition though~) corralled all the nasty bits of paper, dried myself off in a nano second and went to tend to my baby.

pHew~~

What an adventure that was. Good thing I have this blog.

-little asian girl

When in doubt, whip it out.

The boob that is.

When you're a nursing mom, this is a motto that you live by.

Baby's crying. Whip it out.
Baby's got hiccups. Whip it out.
Baby won't go to sleep. Whip it out.

Basically the boob solves all problems.

So was the case recently when little asian baby and I went to a friend's house for a play date. My friend's sweet little daughter little O was sleeping soundly upstairs. Little asian baby decided to snack on a crayon while I wasn't looking. When I proceeded to take the crayon away from her to prevent rainbow colored poop (ironically though, she tried to eat a brown crayon) she let out an ear piercing screech, threw herself on the ground and proceed to throw the loudest tantrum in the history of tantrums.

As my sister would say..."dramatic much?"

(Hmmm..I wonder where she gets that from?....)

Anyways, the tantrum little asian baby threw caused little O to wake up from her slumber and all I could do to stop the madness was to whip it out and attached little asian baby to my person.

...BUT by that time it was too late and little O was fully awake from her nap. I was horrified at little asian baby's behavior and very, VERY remorseful. As any parent knows, naps are like oxygen. You AND your baby need them to survive. If your baby misses a nap, or a nap gets cut short for whatever reason you feel like stabbing yourself in the eye with a pencil...(dramatic much? seriously...) Oh, and you also want to stab whatever entity caused the disturbance too. If someone said "Give me everything valuable that you, your mother, your grandmother, your best friend, your second cousin twice removed uncle's brother have ever owned and I will make your child never miss a nap in their life."

You'd do it in a heartbeat.

So you can see why I felt so bad about the whole situation. If I were little O's mommy I would have been like "get out." and I was definitely prepared to just pack up and leave. LUCKILY FOR US THOUGH... little O's mommy is a great person and was very gracious and understanding about the whole thing. She even offered me breakfast casserole after bringing little O down from her room.

That's when you know you've got a great friend. After your baby wakes up her baby, she still offers you breakfast casserole and a beverage.

So moral of the story is, to prevent little asian babies from waking up other babies from their naps be ready to whip it out BEFORE taking the crayon away.

-little asian girl

Little asian baby and Little O "playing" together at the pumpkin patch.

Little asian baby and the GIANT pumpkin!

Sounds like a story book title huh? Well, it isn't. It's just what I think of when I see these pictures of little asian baby trying to pick up a big pumpkin at the pumpkin patch last week.

At least she has ambition right?

Little asian baby is weird, in that even though she is having fun, this the expression she has the entire time.

I'm always telling people "She's having fun. I promise!" Anyway, here are some more pictures of her at the pumpkin patch. And no, I didn't purposefully choose only the ones in which she looks confused, annoyed, or bored. 

SHE'S HAVING FUN! I PROMISE!

"What do you want me to do with this thing?"

"Got em! Let's make a quick get a way guys!" 

This is the only picture, in which her expression is slightly joyous.

Little asian baby and her friends.
We have yet to take a picture in which all the kids are smiling, sitting still and looking in the right direction.

-little asian girl

" You don't want to look like a heroin addict do you?"

Is what asian husband said to me after looking at my arm. He was trying to rub gold bond lotion on my arm, thinking that it would help.

" The lotion moisturizes, relieves, protects, soothes & cools! " is what he said.
" I don't need to be moisturized, relieved, protected, soothed OR cooled!" is what I said.

We had just been to the market and I had gotten some spotty bruises under my skin in the crux of my arm from holding a heavy basket. (is that right? crux? is it crook of my arm? That doesn't sound right either...hmmm...the part of my arm where the elbow bends? Oh I know, the place where heroin addicts usually shoot up.)

I should have just gotten a cart, but I always go into the market thinking "I'm just going to get a few things..." and then come out with 4 steaks, a gallon of milk, whatever box of baby cookies that I THINK little asian baby MIGHT eat, and a bunch of other non essential items. This day was no different. I actually just needed some bread crumbs, BUT of course I decided to buy two cartons of juice (they were on sale! 2 for 5 bucks! Holla!), a carton of eggs, 2 cloves of garlic, 3 peaches (for little asian baby..that girl LOVES fruit!), oh, and of course the bread crumbs. All in that little red basket that usually is used only by bachelors and college girls out on a cupcake mix run.

** On a side note, I always laugh when I see bachelors shop, because when I look in their basket they basically all buy the same thing. Packaged lunch meat, chips, beverages of some sort (beer, soda, milk) and sometimes apples. **

Anyway, looking down on my arm it really did look like a drug addict's arm. It was all spotted and red, much like little needle pricks. Needless (ha, you thought I was going to write "needles" to be funny right?) to say, the next day I wore long sleeves, just in case some nosy neighbor looked at my skinny asian girl arms and thought I was a drug addict.

What a funny life.

-little asian girl  

10 things every new parent should know.....

Ok, so before any of you veteran moms/parents start wagging your finger at me for being arrogant, I want to CLEARLY state that I am NOT saying that I know it all. Nor am I saying that I have experienced everything to experience about parenting and have all the answers. BUT I have been a mom, a nursing mom, for the past 14 months, so I do know a lil' sumthin' sumthin'...and would like to share my acquired knowledge with all you soon to be suckers parents out there.

1. Your life becomes a "when you can" life. Eat when you can. Shower when you can. Poop when you can... Everyone starts saying stuff like. "Oh, just get to it when you can..." "call me when you can" "Clean the house when you can.." (to which I respond: "GIRL!!!!! WHEN I ACTUALLY GET A CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING, CALLING YOU WON'T BE THE FIRST THING ON MY LIST! period.)

2. If you only have 10 minutes to do one of the 3 choices mentioned above, which should you choose?

Answer: It's a trick question. When you're a mom, you do all three in 10 minutes. Let me break it down for you. Poop for 2 minutes, shower for 6, and scarf down that sandwich you slapped together for yourself that last 2 minutes. Boom. Done.

3. If you feel like crying every night after you've "attempted and failed" to put your baby down for the 3rd time that night. You're doing it right.

4. If you wake up the next day and still feel like crying, you should get some pills for that.

5. You're going to reach a point when you feel like if you have to stay up one more minute you're going to die. Just die. Drop dead and die, because in the past 72 hours, only 4 have been used for sleep. When that point hits, your child is going to get sick, start teething, start a new "developmental stage", just be a baby and you're going to sleep EVEN LESS. It's normal.

6. Everything your baby is going through is basically, normal. Gas, reflux, projectile vomit, projectile poop, rashes, bumps, bruises, hours of nursing non stop, hours of staying awake non stop, hours of sleeping non stop....NORMAL! Just tell yourself, what I tell myself. "well, little asian baby can't be the ONLY baby in the history of mankind to have insert whatever problem you are currently experiencing here." and call your doctor. (oh and you don't have to call your baby "little asian baby")

7. Poop is suppose to just squirt out everywhere. It's how the babies initiate you into parenthood. Just clean it up and move on. No need to blog about it! ;)

8. You learn that the only predictable thing about your day is that it will be unpredictable. For the past 4 days your baby has been sleeping at 10am everyday for 2 hrs, so on the 5th day you plan to meet your friends at the mall at noon. Your baby has now decided that she's NOT going to nap at 10am and is going to take her one and only nap at noon. Therefore ruining YOUR only chance to get out of the house the entire week. Yup. That's your life now.

9. You'll FINALLY appreciate the phrase "Silence is Golden"

10. Sooner rather than later, your brain will conveniently erase all those horrible, traumatic, sleep deprived memories of your baby's 1st year of life and not even reading this list will stop you from procreating and doing it all over again.

May the force be with you.

-little asian girl

** Bonus fact 11 **
You'll be late to everything. You'll constantly hear the lady from iron chef doing the countdown while you're running around the house packing the diaper bag, packing the snack bag, packing the stroller bag (30 minutes have elapsed...) and by the time you walk out the front door and get you, your baby and all the baby crap stuff into the car (45 minutes have elapsed....) you will have still forgotten to refill the baby wipe container and will have to wipe your baby's butt with napkins you found in the glove compartment of your car.

...not that I've ever done that.

Let's see..how do I get to Disney Junior...Maybe this button.

Is it this one?

How about this one?

Nevermind, it's broken.

- little asian girl

"Do something cute. Papa will take your picture~"

It's a phrase said a lot by asian husband to little asian baby. If you haven't already realized, we take TONS of photos of little asian baby. And although in the beginning of days, weeks, and months of her life, she only had a few poses in her repertoire (laying down on her back, laying down on her tummy, being propped up by mom, dad, or other soft cushiony item.) Now she can actually do cute things and make funny faces. However, you can only take so many pictures of a baby playing with the same brightly colored toys before it gets boring. And that's when the phrase comes out.

"Do something cute, papa will take your picture."

Every time asian husband says this I laugh. Then the other day I had a thought. Are we creating an atmosphere where only "cute" performances are rewarded? Will she grow up always feeling like if she wasn't doing something cute or funny then it wasn't worth her parents attention? Will she one day tell her therapist, that she always felt the pressure to "perform" or else her parents wouldn't love her? Is my little asian baby doomed to become the next Honey Boo Boo??!

Oh, gotta go, little asian baby is doing something cute...

- little asian girl

The mysterious channel 771

Recently my grandparents asked me to call their cable provider to see if there was any way to lower their monthly bill. Like all grandparents, (unless you live in the back woods of Mississippi or Nebraska or something and become a grandma at 30, because you yourself had a kid at 15...) all grandparents are senior citizens. And if you're also like most grandparents (again, unless you're grand kids are P-diddy or Beyonce..) you probably live on a very fixed income. Therefore, my grandparents are always trying to find ways to save money. Since they're senior citizens though, they get a lot of discounts and can eat at Hometown Buffet for like 5 bucks. So it's not as bad as it sounds. Anyway, once in a while they ask me to call various companies that they are patrons of to ask if there are any discounts or new options to save money. They also tell me to threaten the companies by telling them my grandparents plan to "cancel" the service if they don't get a discount.

My grandparents are so cute...

My grandparents are the two old people in the middle. Obviously. The other two are one set of my aunt/uncles.

Anyway, they kept telling me to make sure not to cancel channel "771" because it's "grandpa's channel". Now, I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but my grandfather is legally deaf and blind. He can only see blurred outlines of people and things. If I pretended to be the local weather girl or dressed up like a firefighter, he wouldn't know the difference. So I wasn't really sure what this mysterious channel 771 that was only for my grandpa was and when I asked my grandma what it was she just said "it's something your grandpa watches..."

hmmm....suspicious. Did I really want to know? If I dug deeper and tried to uncover the mystery of channel 771 would it be like Pandora's box...or is it pandora's bracelet..............those things are so ugly...the bracelet, not the box..i don't know what the box looks like..never mind I'm rambling...

AND WE'RE BACK!

So I called the cable provider and after yelling..I mean clearly and patiently speaking "representative" a gazillion times into the phone I FINALLY got to speak to a "representative" of India...oops..I mean representative of Time Warner. Here is how the convo went. (By the way I will always and forever put "representative" in quotes, because I do not believe that any "representative" that I talk to over the phone for any company is really "representing" anything true, real or knowledgeable about anything.)

"Representative": Well, ok Mrs. Little asian girl (ok, so he didn't call me that, but he did call me a mrs..so it's my "representation" of the truth. If you would like further information please say "representative" now.) Well, ok Mrs. Little asian girl, it seems that your grandparents currently have three different packages on their cable account. The variety package for 8.99 a month, the Korean channel package for 14.99 a month and the Playboy channel package for another 14.99 a month.

Little Asian Girl: "WHAT??!!! PLAYBOY PACKAGE??!!! OH NO NO, THEY DON'T NEED THAT. CANCEL IT. THEY'RE SENIOR CITIZENS. THEY DON'T NEED THAT CANCEL.. YUP. YEAH. YES. CANCEL. by the way....is the playboy channel, channel 771?"

"Representative": Umm..no maam, I don't see that we even carry channel 771.

Little Asian Girl: "Oh, ok, sorry. thank you."

So after that mildly traumatic incident, I told my grandmother that I had saved her a few bucks by cancelling a package that they didn't need. When she asked me what it was that I cancelled I (embarrassingly) said

"Porno grandma. Porno."

Now, I thought my grandmother would sort of be embarrassed too, but I guess I should have known better. She is the same women after all that told me my husband wouldn't like my tata's because they were too small. (You can read about that here.) Anyways, she just continued to cut up fruit and went about her business totally un-phased by what I had just told her.

Disturbing.

So at the end of the day I saved two old folks a bit of cash, earned another notch as THE BEST GRANDDAUGHTER IN THE WORLD, but never did solve the mystery of channel 771. I'll have to ask my grandpa one day if he still is able to watch channel 771 and depending on the answer, I'll either write another blog post about it because it's so hilarious or see a therapist because it's too..well..gross..

haha~

-little asian girl

OH YOU'RE EDUCATED!!!!!!!

Is what my friend surprisingly EXCLAIMED to me today. She had just found out that I do indeed have college attending experience.

She was surprised.
I was surprised that she was surprised.
It was a surprising moment.
It was funny.

Now, some people might have been offended that they were perceived as "uneducated" to people whom they come into frequent contact with. I on the other hand, was not, but it got me "thinking" (something that I hear is required if you want to go to college.) "Do I seem like a ditzy uneducated house wife? When I meet people, should I not lead with the phrase.."OH I didn't have any career aspirations. Just wanted to be a barefooted housewife, pregnant with 10 kids...."

hmmm...

Call me naive, but I guess I assume that everyone I meet is educated to some degree. I mean I know we all can't be Harvard educated (or as we say in my culture...HAAHBAHD...we're Korean, our English not so good, but EVERY Asian person in the world knows what that word means) but I'm asian, so education is in my DNA. Like washing rice before cooking or taking shoes off in the house. My aunt recently showed me a picture of her grandson "studying".
He was a newborn.
He was still lying in that clear container thing they put next to your hospital bed.
The hospital placed white posters with black shapes around him like a little pen, because supposedly newborns can only see black and white.
Asian people are crazy.

And like any good parent should, I've also thought a lot about what little asian baby might be when she grows up. Here are some occupations that she has already tried out.

dentist

model

blogger

cleaning lady

DJ

dancer (NOT the exotic kind, just to clarify.)

pianist

chef

drummer

cowgirl

photographer

super star

What a busy girl! Looks like asian husband and I are going to need to save up a lot of money for all the educating she's going to need! 

-little asian girl

Hey Justin Bieber, your ass crack is showing~

Whatever happened to the days when men shopped in the men's department and wore clothing that you knew for sure belong to them?? Now every time I see a lavender sweater with white stripes I don't know if it's suppose to be a sweater for a guy or a sweater for a girl. (And it also doesn't help that BOTH the male/female employees at Nordstrom's are wearing it!) I am often bewildered by the bevy of choices now available to men when it comes to clothing. I mean how many different types of "fits" do guys really need in jeans? Relaxed fit, casual fit, athletic fit, slim fit, young fit, old fit, these are actually my girlfriend's jeans fit.....*pHew*

Anyways, the reason behind my current rant about androgynous clothing is, recently as I was driving to my mom's house along the 91 freeway I saw two men on the side of the rode who appeared to be in some sort of distress. I know this because, well, they were on the side of the rode standing NEXT to and not driving IN their car. (My powers of observation are very acute as you can see~) They appeared to have gotten a flat tire or something. Now most men that I know (especially asian husband because he is VERY knowledgeable when it comes to cars. I mean he's the husband that changes his own oil, rolls his own fenders and built a "lip" out of wood and attached it to his car so that it would have more "downforce" to go faster on the track. YEAH..he's THAT guy! I'm so lucky! =) Love you hubby!) Ok, yes, so most men I know would just change the tire and be on their way, but something told me that these two weren't those type of guys.

First of all, they were driving a white BMW, which in my opinion is like a guy ordering diet soda. (Kinda lame) Secondly, his friend appeared to be texting or something on this phone, (an iphone no doubt) while standing on the side of the rode instead of
1. helping his friend jack the car up
2. Calling a tow truck
3. waiting INSIDE the car where he wouldn't get run over by little asian girls who apparently can't keep their eyes on the rode!
Also, the guy kneeling in front of the tire was wearing a beret. The only other guys I've ever seen wearing a beret are those retarded "celebu-lites" (celebrity-socialites, a word that I just brilliantly made up!) like Brody Jenner & his equally idiotic friends. It also didn't help my judgement of them that they were BOTH dressed like they had just stepped out of one of those uber trendy Gucci ads where the guys are wearing ultra skinny jeans, a knit vest OVER a dress shirt with casually rolled up sleeves, alligator printed dress shoes, aviator sunglasses, and oh yeah...the beret.

So after I made my initial "assessment" (I say assessment, you say horribly judgemental offensive stereo typing...tomato, tomahto...) I decided to better myself and assume that the two guys were
1. getting ready to fix the tire themselves.
2. Had no choice but to pick the white BMW, because the rental place was out of manly colored ones.
3. And was thumbing on the phone, because they had already called the tow truck and therefore had some spare time to update their twitter feed.

So I just kept driving along, but realized that the guy who was kneeling had his ass crack showing, because his pants were too tight, too low, and too lame for any real man to be wearing and I wanted to shout...

"HEY JUSTIN BIEBER YOUR ASS CRACK IS SHOWING!"

-little asian girl

Picture of asian husband's car. It's what I consider to be a "manly" car. It's even on a dirt road! 

Following in mommy's footsteps~

So since I started blogging, I've been spending more time at my computer (obviously). Here is what I saw little asian baby doing the other day after dinner.

She was writing a strongly worded letter to Disney Channel about their some times racially stereo typed characters.
(reference blogs here and here.) 

Fact checking by watching her favorite Disney Junior clips "Small Potatoes" (those singing potatoes are quite catchy!)

Stretching her leg out from all that sitting and typing!

Got sidetracked and never sent the letter. Opted to finish watching the potatoes sing instead. 

Monkey see monkey do? I'm so proud of my little baby!

-little asian girl

" I was afraid this would happen.."

The porn link.

*siGh*

Allow me to explain.

No, I wasn't involved in an "allegedly" obscenely glorious "accidentally" on purpose strategically "stolen and released" sex tape scandal like Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian in order to catapult myself to blogger fame...BUT turns out that some people have been finding my blog while looking for porn.

Great.

When I started this blog, I had suspicions that this would happen. I thought to myself "what if someone searches google for "asian girl" or even worse "little asian girl" and then instead of the sleazy porn site with naked butts, they find my blog?" Then upon checking my stats on the blogger overview page, I found an odd link. SOOOO..(in the name of research of course) I clicked it to find my screen filled with naked butts, boobs, man parts that I don't even want to IMAGINE seeing and flashing headlines with words that I can't even type for fear that I will burn in hell. Needless to say, I almost fainted. I closed the laptop immediately and prayed. Asian husband who was sitting next to me was laughing. It was not funny.

My mother, grandmother, father, brother, sister, 3rd cousin twice removed in law would have been proud...

Not that I want to alienate or discriminate against anyone who might want to be entertained by an asian girl (PUN INTENDED!! DUH!! HAHAHHAHA! I'm so funny...) It's not like I have SOO many followers I can afford to be choosy, but really people? PORN? *siGh*SIGH* I SAY!

Well, I guess the moral of the story is, don't use words in your blog title that could be linked to anything sexual and DEFINITELY don't click the random links you find in your blogger stats page, because you could be scarred for life.

Oh, also, if you happen to be one of those people who happened upon my blog while looking for the abomination that is pornography, take it as a sign from whatever sign giving entity you believe in and stop searching for naked people having sex on your computer!!!!!!!

-little asian girl

Little asian girl....we need to talk.

Today I participated in an intervention. Well, an intervention with myself, for myself. An intervention for an addiction that is deep seeded and has been going on for as long as I can remember.

Hi, my name is little asian girl and I'm a sugarholic.

I had just walked out of a new bakery I found WITHOUT buying a single baked good or frosting covered nugget of deliciousness. I felt triumphant and victorious for standing up to my constant sugar cravings! I knew I had a box of cupcakes at home so why would I need more?
Right?
I didn't need another cupcake..did I?
I did...no i didn't...yes, I did...NO NO..I didn't.

I didn't...??..?

So when I got home, I polished off the box of cupcakes. YES YES I SAID THE BOX! It actually only had 3 cupcakes in it (the 4th one I ate last night, so it doesn't count as today's #) and I didn't actually eat ALL of them...i left some crumbs and some bits of frosting behind....(EXCUSES EXCUSES! YOU NEED TO START BEING REAL WITH YOURSELF! Dr. Drew's voice in echoing in my head.) Anyways, it was NOT a pretty sight. By the time I was finished I had frosting and cake crumbs all over my fingers, mouth, and I am still finding rogue sprinkles under the couch. The worst part of it was THE CUPCAKES WERE NOT EVEN THAT GOOD!! They were store bought. My reasoning was that if I had to buy them instead of make them, then I would only have a few to eat and not like a dozen...but I would have rather had the dozen of course!

*siGh*

I think I have a problem. Isn't that part of what addiction is? Doing something that's not even all that worth it, just to fulfill that deep, visceral need? The act of eating 3 mediocre cupcakes to fulfill the need for something buttery and sweet? And like all addictions, or what I assume happens after the euphoria fades, guilt and self loathing inevitably follow. It's what I hear people call "crashing from the sugar high", but I can't speak from experience... Oh well...

GOTTA BAKE MORE CUPCAKES! YAYAYA!

oh wait..no no...control yourself damnit!

I think I need some professional help. Is there something like Betty Ford, but for people who are addicted to baking, sugar, butter, frosting and brightly colored sprinkles?

Oh yeah, there is.

Betty Crocker. ;)

-little asian girl~