"did you do the sex yesterday?"

Is a question that perhaps a concerned parent would ask their teenage daughter after prom night.....maybe a girlfriend after you've had a hot date...more likely a gynecologist..but of course in my life this question was asked to me by my 76 year old grandmother. 

yup.

i know.

WHAT??!!!!! (is the general reaction I've gotten from various family members, followed by stunned silence.  Hubby said "what's wrong with your grandma?")

Now many of you, my fans, well the fans that I will one day have (here's to hoping!) know that my grandma has a weird and slightly (ok ok...i know...GREATLY) disturbing interest in my boobs, my personal life, the "relations" between my husband and I...and generally has no boundaries. 

Before I got married, she would say "what are you going to do since you're boobs are so small? You're husband will have nothing to play with." And now that I'm pregnant, she CONSTANTLY asks me if my boobs are getting bigger. And last week she told me that "my husband must be happy now that my boobs are bigger, cuz he has something to play with" (*diE*fAiNt~*gASp*lOok coNfusEd*gEt siCk aNd hURL~~* i know~) So I'm not really that shocked when questions like that shoot my way, but "did you do the sex yesterday?" took me to a whole new place of crazy! 

To be fair, a little background as to why she asked was, I had a little spotting last week and the doc advised me to stay home from work for a week so I was home during the middle of the day when my grandmother called. She wanted to know why I was home, so I (against my better judgement) told her, and then she asked me that, thinking that it might of been the cause for the spotting. 

*i would like to insert here, that sex was NOT the cause of the spotting, for those interested viewers*

Anyways, my grandmother had 6 kids, so I'm sure she has had everything single pregnancy symptom and issue known to man, so she was probably asking from a purely medical standpoint. 

*cross my fingers and hope to die stick a needle in my eye* (literally)....if that's NOT why she asked.

 And I should just know that nothing is too personal in my family to ask about. 

So I'll just take the advice my mother gave me when I told her what her mother had asked me which was "just accept it as our family way and.......forget it happened?" (even she didn't sound that convinced that ANYONE could erase such a comment/scenario from their minds) 

So now I just go about my days, accepting the good, bad and totally inappropriate and oh yeah...avoid calls from my grandmother~