"You're not controlling...you're just good at editing other people's ideas~"

AHA! is what I thought when my cousin told me that the other day at lunch.

As a child I (like 99% of the population) thought of my mother as my harshest critic. I always thought that she was never satisfied with what I had achieved and that somehow there was something MORE, something BETTER that I could have done in order to meet her expectations. I remember her comments on my scribbly doo artwork to be "Oh honey, i like it....but..maybe next time you can draw it BIGGER or put the cat IN the tree and not climbing UP the tree..."  (I WANTED THE CAT CLIMBING UP THE TREE DAMNIT! IT'S MORE DRAMATIC THAT WAY!!.......*bReaTh*BrEAth*brEaTh*)

 anyways, so I always thought... la~la~la~ " when I have a kid, I'm definitely going to be supportive of everything they do and never criticize them or put them down......." la~ la~ la~ but..

YEAH RIGHT THAT'S HOW I'M GOING TO PARENT MY KID! I DON'T WANT MY KID GROWING UP DISILLUSIONED AND SELF ABSORBED WITH AN INFLATED EGO! 

THAT'S HOW THE PARIS HILTONS AND KARDASHIANS OF THE WORLD ARE CREATED! BARF!

So I was telling my cousin, I would be devastated if my kid wanted to become a singer, but sang like a dying cat or a doctor but couldn't tell it's knee from it's head! and she just said..."well that's why from a young age, you just gotta "convince" them that what THEY want to do is really what YOU intended for them to do all along!" 

HmMmMmM...i thought..

interesting....

and then I realized, well...when I do art projects with my class at church, such as a painting project....I only put out the colors that I know will look good together and that will match the other parts of the room so that all the paintings don't turn out poop colored. That way, the kids still get to have fun and express their creativity, but the outcome is something that I can live with. That's when my cousin said it...

"it's editing. You're not controlling, you're just good at editing other people's ideas...." we had a laugh, it was (as Oprah says) an AHA moment! 

So next time anyone accuses you of being too controlling, just say 

"I'm not controlling, I'm just good at editing your ideas"