breastfeeding...family affair?? part 2

So let's see. 

Where did we leave off. 

oh yes, sitting around in a circle "watching" me breastfeed.

So I wish the antics ended there, but of course it didn't. Here is a list..yes I said a LIST of the ways in which my family has become involved in my breastfeeding. 

Every time I breastfeed near my grandmother, she tries to pinch little asian baby's nose saying that I'm "squishing" it flat by pressing it against my boob too tightly. Newsflash grandma,  the baby's asian. a flat nose is guaranteed. Just be glad she didn't come out with chinky eyes. (yes yes i said CHINKY...but i'm asian so I can say that.)

When my dad hears baby have hiccups he starts shouting "JAMIE GIVE HER YOUR BREAST! GIVE HER YOUR BREAST!" as if saying "breast" instead of boob is any less embarrassing/inappropriate. and mind you my dad is not suave and polite say like george clooney. He's more like frank barone, the dad on everybody loves raymond. you get the pic.   

My aunt kelly came over to see the baby one day and I purposely went into the room, she however, asked Chris where I was and said "oh let me watch" and promptly came and found me. SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FAMILY?!

My uncle (yeah, you thought it would stop at the aunts huh? NO SUCH LUCK!) My uncle upon seeing me for the first time after giving birth, asked me if there was even enough milk for the baby since my boobs were still so small. YUP,  you read right. (did you fall out of your chair?) He then proceeded to ask me if I was wearing a nursing tank top, and even had a hand gesture to go with it. (if you've ever seen a nursing top, you know what I mean, and if you haven't then you can just imagine what kind of hand gesture I wanted to give him back~) 

My mom's friend told me to breastfeed as long as possible. 2 years she said. Hell. to. the. no lady. hell to the no. 

and last but not least, (this one is actually kinda cute) My 6 year old niece asked me if she could watch me feed the baby, and when I said no, she asked "why can't I see your privacy? I can see mommy & daddy's?!"

Now what should I have said to my niece? Should I have been more concerned by the fact that she thought i was ok to see people's privacy or the fact that she actually saw mommy & daddy's privacy. Why did she see mommy & daddy's privacy? What was the scenario in which she saw it? Why did she want to see mine? Floored by the statement this sweet little girl had just made and with my mind swirling with crazy little asian girl thoughts, I just retreated to the guestroom, told christopher to guard the door and fed my baby quickly and quietly. 

*siGh* they don't tell you this stuff in the books.