"I think my eye makeup remover isn't working..."

is what I thought as I saw dark smudges under my eyes after I had removed my makeup. After about 3 minutes of trying to rub the "residue" from my skin with every imaginable solution and practically rubbing my skin off i realized..."damn, it's not the remover, it's sleep deprivation. oh the joy." 

So basically I haven't had a full night sleep since...well...since little asian baby was born 6 months ago. So what i thought was makeup removal failure was actually the dark stain of motherhood. 

I had just gotten out of the shower and was examining my still "recovering" body.

* I say recovering because it gives me an excuse to do things that people who are recovering from something can get away with like eat 3 cupcakes at a time or spoon chocolate sauce straight out the jar......don't judge people....I'M RECOVERING! I also tell people that i "just" had a baby so when they see the elastic band of my maternity jeans peeking out from under my shirt they think that I still haven't shed all my pregnancy weight and not that I was just too lazy to put pants on with buttons~ don't judge people...i JUST had a baby..*

Anyways, as I stood in the mirror looking at the now red patches under my eyes I also noticed the ugly dark line that pregnant women get that runs from their belly button downwards, the stomach pooch that I now sported like a fanny pack, and the nasty veins in my boobs (which are bigger now by the way grandma!) that get darker as my boobs get filled with milk. (Too much info i know i know, motherhood has caused me to lose all sense of modesty or social decency. sorry dude) So as I looked on, I breathed a sigh of disappointment and as I was grabbing my clothes to get dressed, hubby walked by and said "your right breast is leaking"

I let out another long, exasperated sigh and said "yeah...i know...that's just what happens." 

So I guess until little asian baby can eat all her meals with a spoon and sleep through the night without needing to climb on top of me for comfort I'll just use concealer, wear nursing tops and keep telling people that I just had a baby to garner sympathy. haha.

-little asian girl out.