WHaT?! HuH?!.....i know right?! Which is (by the way) the EXACT reaction that hubby and I had when we found out, because we weren't planning on having a baby any time soon. But alas, the universe had other plans and here we are.
As you may have guessed already, although little asian girl's adventures are quite....interesting..... to say the least BOY OH BOY is it a doozy when you're pregnant! So starts the series of posts that hopefully will bring some entertainment, laughter, and useful knowledge to the masses on what it is like being a little (pregnant) asian girl.
Now where should I start...soooo many lovely things happen to you when you're pregnant. And although I have had what people say a "dream" pr nab nomnWing sickness, no crazy cravings for pickles sandwiched between fudge pops.....) there still are many things that are not "dreamy" about being pregnant.
Here is a list of my (current) top 5 peeves about what people say or do about pregnancy. I say current cuz my pet peeves change about every 5 minutes or so, but people generally annoy me so this may not be a pregnant thing..(hmmm...something to think about.....)
1. "OH it's so WONDERFUL being pregnant!!" to which I say (not aloud of course~) "really bitch?"
I mean who is this woman going around telling people that she LOVES being pregnant?! What's so great about it? You're tired all the time, everything you smell makes you gag, people constantly try to touch you, your booty gets bigger by the day... (and I don't care pregnant or not, when you put on your favorite pair of jeans and they no longer zip....it pisses you off) Along with a myriad of other "wonderful" symptoms and side effects of having another human being suck all the life and nutrients out of you. (can you tell I love my baby?! ha) So if I ever find the loud mouthed blogger who has nothing to do all day but blog about her 5th pregnancy and how wonderful it is, i'm going to hit her over the head with the keyboard. (I bet it's that mom on that reality TV show with the 20 kids (and counting!) who takes her clan to Wal-Mart to sing Kum Ba Ya in 10 part harmony for the shoppers....b*iT*h)
2. " When my neighbors, son's friend's sister had her baby it was so big that they had to cut a slit down her a**hoLe so that the head would fit!"
WHAT THE HELL KIND OF STORY IS THAT TO TELL SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER HAD A BABY BEFORE! There is already a plethora of scary, traumatic, and down right disgusting labor/delivery stories out there that I'm sure a neurotic, type A, control freak (like me) has already read about on the web. I don't need to hear ANOTHER story about how another baby died from umbilical cord strangulation after it was delivered. Stupid freakin idiots!
3. "WOw you gained a lot of weight!"
*baNgiNg hEad oN tAbLe tOp* yes. you're right. i have gained weight. BUT I'M PREGNANT YOU MORON! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS! what's you're excuse?! ( I btw have only gained 11 pounds in the past months,and all of it is contained in my stomach, hips and butt regions. No face fat. THANK GOD no face fat)
4. " I think you should name your baby Agnus, or Chad or OH HOW ABOUT Theodora!" (btw, these really are names that people have been suggesting to me)
Really? did I ask you?? I don't give you suggestions on what I think you're name should of been. Don't give me suggestions on what to name my baby. Cuz frankly I don't give a sH*t. and from now on I shall call you princess pea pod. (no offense to anyone named princess pea pod)
Now this final one is not really something that pisses me off per se, but it just shows how men will NEVER really know anything about being pregnant. (lucky bastards)
So I've been pretty much normal during my pregnancy. Like I said I haven't really had any pregnancy symptoms so I'm like my usual high energy, happy self. But there are days of course when my head is pounding, everything I ate that day has made me nauseous and all I want to do is go to bed and never get out. So I'll say to my Chris " OH I'm SOO tired, and I don't know if I can make dinner tonight" to which he will respond........
5. "just make something easy~"
MAKE SOMETHING EASY?! MAKE SOMETHING EASY?! HOW ABOUT "oh ok, let's order pizza or go to that thai place you like." make something easy....*ACk* YOU MAKE SOMETHING EASY! (now people who are reading this and thinking "oh what a mean pregnant wife" I would like you to know that I have been making him dinner almost every single day pregnant, not pregnant whatever for the past 8 months since we got married!) AND my sister-in- law, Chris's brother's wife, said she didn't cook her ENTIRE pregnancy and just laid on the couch and order her husband around. So my husband has it easy!
So here so far is what my life has been like the past four months in a nutshell. A lot of fake smiling and acting interested, trying REALLY hard not to make my eyeballs roll into the back of my head. I still have 5 more months of this to go, hopefully you won't hear news about "crazy pregnant little asian girl strangles innocent bystander with crib sheet" on the news anytime soon.
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