"....maybe your baby will be slutty?"

Now, to my audience. 

Before I proceed with this post, I do have to say that if you are one of those people who want to believe that all babies are bouncing bundles of joy, plopped down from heaven to bring us rainbows and sprinkles need not continue to read this email. 

But if you are not, then please go ahead and enjoy! 

*and yes yes, I know that there is a nice cozy place for me in hell for insinuating that a baby could possibly be slutty, but what's a little asian girl to do when something is sooo funny!**

So I joined a baby forum, where myself and other sleep deprived mothers can share stories about baby poop and breast pumps. Basically things that normal people care NOTHING about.... It's quite hilarious; the different types of topics that arise and I can truly say that some people are just idiots! There are plenty of stories of mothers claiming that their babies are GENIUSES who could walk and talk as soon as they exited the womb and a zillion posts about mother's who are worried sick about their constipated babies. BUT the best one was from a mother who was "concerned" about her 6 month old daughter who started to touch her "privacy" The post read something like this:

"Today while I was changing DD's (darling daughter's) diaper, she reached down and definitely "touched" her vagina. I know boys do it, because their privates just are out there, but has anyone had any experience with this?" 

So as I was reading this I was thinking? WHAT? YOUR KID IS ONLY 6 MONTHS OLD, they don't even know that they have arms and legs let alone a private part! I was sure that this mother was just another one of those super drama mama's who cried wolf every time, but then strangely enough other mother's started posting their experiences with this particular situation. 

"Oh, my DD does this too when we're in the bath!"

"Yup, my LO (little one) does this when I'm changing her diaper too!" 

So i thought, hmmm...maybe there's something to this odd behavior presenting itself at such a young age? With the teen pregnancy epidemic on the rise and with our youth being exposed to things WAAYY beyond their years at a younger and younger age, maybe we can predict in some way whether our children are going to contribute or hinder the progress of their generation. For example, if I saw my little asian baby starting to fondle herself at 6 months of age, you betcher ass I'm gonna strap a chastity belt on her by the time she could walk. Or i would be aware of these "tendencies" and if my little asian baby told me one day at 16 yrs old that she was pregnant, I would reflect back and say to myself.."well....I guess I shoulda known...." 

So what I wanted to say to these women (but because I didn't want to sound like a total ass, i didn't) was...."maybe your baby will be slutty?" and hoped that the post would get lost in the shuffle and that MY little asian baby wouldn't have any friends like that in the future....

-little asian girl