Today I participated in an intervention. Well, an intervention with myself, for myself. An intervention for an addiction that is deep seeded and has been going on for as long as I can remember.
Hi, my name is little asian girl and I'm a sugarholic.
I had just walked out of a new bakery I found WITHOUT buying a single baked good or frosting covered nugget of deliciousness. I felt triumphant and victorious for standing up to my constant sugar cravings! I knew I had a box of cupcakes at home so why would I need more?
Right?
I didn't need another cupcake..did I?
I did...no i didn't...yes, I did...NO NO..I didn't.
I didn't...??..?
So when I got home, I polished off the box of cupcakes. YES YES I SAID THE BOX! It actually only had 3 cupcakes in it (the 4th one I ate last night, so it doesn't count as today's #) and I didn't actually eat ALL of them...i left some crumbs and some bits of frosting behind....(EXCUSES EXCUSES! YOU NEED TO START BEING REAL WITH YOURSELF! Dr. Drew's voice in echoing in my head.) Anyways, it was NOT a pretty sight. By the time I was finished I had frosting and cake crumbs all over my fingers, mouth, and I am still finding rogue sprinkles under the couch. The worst part of it was THE CUPCAKES WERE NOT EVEN THAT GOOD!! They were store bought. My reasoning was that if I had to buy them instead of make them, then I would only have a few to eat and not like a dozen...but I would have rather had the dozen of course!
*siGh*
I think I have a problem. Isn't that part of what addiction is? Doing something that's not even all that worth it, just to fulfill that deep, visceral need? The act of eating 3 mediocre cupcakes to fulfill the need for something buttery and sweet? And like all addictions, or what I assume happens after the euphoria fades, guilt and self loathing inevitably follow. It's what I hear people call "crashing from the sugar high", but I can't speak from experience... Oh well...
GOTTA BAKE MORE CUPCAKES! YAYAYA!
oh wait..no no...control yourself damnit!
I think I need some professional help. Is there something like Betty Ford, but for people who are addicted to baking, sugar, butter, frosting and brightly colored sprinkles?
Oh yeah, there is.
Betty Crocker. ;)
-little asian girl~
keep baking and sharing!! :)
ReplyDeleteYes! Keep baking and sharing!! I was kinda bummed when I was reading that you had an intervention with yourself. I thought.."No, she cant stop baking and eating desserts!" " She's my sweets/dessert person!" So...I hope this was a temporary intervention. I understand if you need to eat less...... Just save up your craving when we are together so we can enjoy together!! :-)
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