I entered baby Gap, little asian baby was eerily quiet. I quickly grabbed a few items I wanted to make the exchange for and headed over to the register. There was only one person ahead of me, so I was anticipating to get in and out as quickly as possible.
That's all you really ask for when you are out with a kid. To get in and out quickly.
Oh and a cupcake. I always ask for cupcakes.
Then it started. The tantrum that puts all other tantrums to shame began. Little asian baby just lost it and started to scream and cry. She was throwing her snacks on the floor, pulling and tugging at the straps in an attempt to get out of the stroller. There were tears and snot, saliva. It was a mess. "OMG!!!" I thought. I could feel the annoyed look from the lady standing behind me burning into the back of my skull. "Well, you're going to hate me even more lady, because I have an exchange to do...." is what I thought. I quickly unbuckled baby and picked her up in an attempt to calm her down.
didn't work!
Little asian baby started to shove her hands down my shirt. (It's what she does when she wants to nurse. A weird thing that she started to do one day.) "GREAT!" is what I thought now. Meanwhile, I had made it to the front of the line and the idiot cashier girl was "oohing" and "aahing" over the cute clothes I was purchasing/returning. REALLY LADY? DON'T YOU WORK HERE???!! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THESE THINGS A MILLION TIMES ALREADY? WHY DON'T YOU HOLD MY SCREAMING SNOT SPEWING BABY AND I'LL COMPLETE THE TRANSACTION! IT'LL PROBABLY BE FASTER!
and then the cashier says....
"Oh, I have a 6 month old too!" OMG OMG! REALLY???!!!! THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I'M TRYING TO GET OUT OF HERE WITH AT LEAST A SHRED OF SANITY INTACT! CAN YOU PLEASE HURRY THE F*CK UP?!!!!! Is what I wanted to scream at her! So FINALLY after what seemed like an eternity I made it out of the store, plopped down on a bench gave little asian baby what she had wanted all along. The boob.
Now, I have to tell you. I was at an outdoor mall. The bench I was sitting on was located on the corner of two streets. I was just sitting there out in the open for all to see. Shoppers were walking by. There was even a police car that happened to drive by.
.........
You probably can imagine what an odd scene it was. I mean it wasn't like I was flashing everyone and doing a peep show. Actually no part of my skin was showing at all. I was completely covered. But it must have been an odd sight. This little asian girl sitting totally out in the open nursing her child like it was totally "normal". (I also say "child" because little asian baby is not really a baby anymore. And she's tall too, so it must have been a shocker to the people.) It probably wasn't the experience that the good people of Victoria Gardens was expecting when they ventured out today.
AND THEN THE BABY FELL ASLEEP!!!!!! OMG!
SO NOW there I am, still nursing the small child, who is now sleeping but still attached to my boob. What was I suppose to do? I just picked her right up, still attached, still sleeping, and started to make my way back to the car. Remember also, because I was filled with an unusual sense of determination that morning, I still had the stroller with me. So you can imagine how ridiculously ridiculous I must have looked. I was trying to push the stroller with one hand, while still holding my sleeping, nursing child with the other hand. People must have now thought "This little asian girl is nutso!" Another experience that I'm sure the lovely Victoria Garden shoppers were not prepared for as they shopped for skinny jeans while sipping lattes. Little asian baby was getting heavier and heavier by the minute, so I just had to bite the bullet, unlatch her and throw her over my shoulder. Luckily she slept the whole time and I finally made it to the car without crashing the stroller into any parking meters or waking little asian baby up. I transferred baby into the car seat, (she did through a fit, but actually fell asleep mid-tantrum so it was ok) and finally left the mall to go home.
Needless to say, after that whole outrageous ordeal, I wanted a cupcake, a nap and well...a shot.
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| Little asian baby passed out in the car. |
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