"You're wearing slippy socks..

..not grippy socks, so when you're walking along the dining table bench throwing the cushions off, while making your way to the blinds in an attempt to rip them off....just be careful."

Words I NEVER thought I'd be saying to little asian baby. We were getting ready to leave the house for my sister's bday dinner and was just busy packing everything imaginable for those "just in case she has explosive diahrrea and needs a haz-mat suit.." kind of scenarios. (What? You know that's how you pack when leaving the house with your toddler too. Don't think I'm crazy~!) It's like an act from a circus when we have to leave. Asian husband and I race back and forth packing things like diapers, wipes, baby cup, forks, spoons, birth certificate.. And while we do that, little asian baby has free, unsupervised, well PARTIALLY unsupervised, reign over the house.

So was the case today. During this window of time, little asian baby climbed up onto the dining room bench (yeah, she can do that now) and decided to walk across it while pushing all the pillows in her path onto the floor. Her main objective was to get to the blinds that hang from the window at the end of the bench. She is O-B-S-E-SS-ED with blinds. She just likes to swat them back and forth, peek through them, see if she can hang herself with them...you know..regular toddler stuff. To help you better imagine what the area of the house I am referring to looks like, here is a picture. Oh, and no, my dining area does not always look this festive and neat. Usually there random things all over, but this day was baby's 1st birthday party so I made it look festive and neat. Anyway, the dining bench is where the pillows are and you can see the window to the right with the blinds.

The bench, actually is a long cabinet with doors that slide from side to side. I store small kitchen appliances there, out of sight, but this has nothing to do with the story. I just like to tell you things about my dining area.

Anyway, the point is, that there are many things that I never thought I would do as a parent that I now do. All the time. Things like letting little asian baby watch TV so I can get dinner made or take a shower. Or allow little asian baby to run around the house during meals without sitting in a high chair. But what you THINK you're going to do BEFORE you have kids and what actually happens AFTER you have them are two different things.

Trust me.

Those of you who have kids know what I'm talking about, and those of you who don't have kids yet pass judgement on all us mothers who do...just you wait. And I promise I won't say "I TOLD YOU SO SUCKA!" when you send me your deeply apologetic email. (well I don't really PROMISE..wait..yes I do..no..well....yeah..no I don't.)

I guess instead of "You're wearing slippy socks, not grippy socks, so when you're walking along the dining table bench throwing the cushions off, while making your way to the blinds in an attempt to rip them off...just be careful." I SHOULD of said "No. We do not walk along the bench. We do not throw cushions on the floor. We DO NOT play with the blinds!"

but.

I'm tired.

So I just let her play on the bench.

Now, whoever still thinks that stay at home moms just eat bon bons all day while watching telanovelas, as their babies take 5 hr naps, shouldn't run into me in the parking lot of Gymboree. I'll club you with my kids diaper wipe case and stab you with her baby fork. I don't have the energy to carry a tantrum throwing toddler off the bench and into the living room area 6 ft away for the 10th time that minute, only to have her run back up and onto the bench. Again. I'd rather let her walk the bench peacefully, keep her in good spirits and try to stave off any further meltdowns. And if you reference the above photo, you can see that the table is basically pushed up against the bench and that there is a WALL on the other side so it's not like she could have fallen or anything. Besides, I was sitting within arms reach of her the whole time.

So pass judgement all you want, tell your friends that you know a little asian girl that has NO IDEA how to raise a child, but it's cool. I'm not phased by it. At least for that one moment in time, little asian baby was happy and there was peace in all the land.

Until I had to take her off the bench so that we could leave.....

-little asian girl