"oh shat~"

My mother was not born here in America. She immigrated here when she was 22, so English is NOT her first language. Here are some HIL-A-RI-OUS things that she says, that may offend anyone who might be eavesdropping on us behind a hidden wall. (I don't know where that came from... I'm watching some crime drama on TV right now and it's subconsciously filtering into my mind....) here goes.

"shitted" : she means shredded. I know this because the word "cheese" or "lettuce" usually comes after it. Whether she uses it in the other way I never asked.

"feesha": No it's not the name of a new crazy haired, bubble dress wearing artist P-diddy is "molding" into the next hot thing. She means fuschia. The color.

"polish": This one she actually used when she first immigrated here and she really didn't know any English. She meant police. My aunt told me a story of my mom trying to say "police" to her sisters and after being frustrated that they didn't understand her, she proceeded to use hand gestures to describe a siren accompanied by sound effects. (you can use your imagination with this one...) And after being pulled over several times in her 35 years in America, she now knows how to pronounce it. PO-LEESE

"oh shat": she means "oh shit"....I'm 100% sure

"the bitch": she means "the beach".....I'm 87% sure..

"DOO!!!": she proclaimed triumphantly and loudly. She meant "duh". we laughed. loudly. and for a long time.

I guess I shouldn't really make fun of dear little asian mom. I mean, I once thought that the name Paul was spelled Pole.

Butt I wuz in da sixth grayde so giv me a brake!

-litl azun gurl